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Sex Toy Adaptability: Age, Disability, Gender & Genitals
Exploring Joyful and Inclusive Sexual Adaptation:
Embracing Creative Possibilities
I spend much of my time with erotic coaching clients working out adaptations to meet them where they are in their bodies and needs. Disability and different abilities: working with chronic pain, paralysis, autism, depression and so on. Access due to aging bodies, arthritis, fatness, emotional well-being, flexibility and more. There's also a lot of finagling various sex toys and non-sex toys to have the kind of interactions we desire with our non-normative genitalia, whether due to our physicality at birth, various surgeries (gender affirming, circumcision, FGM, IGM or bottom growth due to androgens). There's also the struggle of finding ways to play with kink while honouring the needs of our body!
In case you missed it, I want to share with you a video recording of a chat I had with another Somatic Sex Educator, Lauchie who is based in Toronto. Both of us offer our services to those interested in exploring sexuality regardless of your location. Our availability for online sessions means that we can work with queer and trans individuals from all over. So, whether you’re seeking guidance, support, or simply a space to explore your desires, we are ready to accompany you on your journey.
Embracing sexual adaptation is a journey of limitless possibilities. Explore the world of accessible solo play, where sex toys become tools of empowerment and self-expression through queer adaptability. By encouraging exploration, DIY creativity, and providing accessible guidance, we hope to have opened doors for individuals of diverse bodies and genitals to discover the fullness of their sexuality.
As you embark on your exploration, remember to embrace pleasure, curiosity, and self-compassion. Celebrate the joy that comes from discovering what brings you delight and fulfilment, and acknowledge and tend to the grief that presents itself. For booking sessions and further information, find Lauchie at https://www.lauchiemurdoch.ca
Watch the full video here
Welcome to an exciting journey of discovery and pleasure as Lauchie and I delve into the world of sexual adaptation. We invite you to join us in an exploration of how solo play can be made accessible and enjoyable for individuals with diverse bodies and genitals, including disabled, fat, intersex, and trans/non-binary people.
Lauchie starts us off with a contemplative body-based practice: What’s a sensation or a shape that comes through your body when you hear the words, “sexual adaptation”? Close your eyes for a moment and let the words “sexual adaptation” resonate within you. Notice any sensations, vibes, images, or shapes that emerge in your body. Allow yourself to simply be present and curious about the possibilities.
In the video, we chat about lab time that is iterative, full of curiosity and spaciousness to consider, and wandering with purpose. I discuss the need for creativity in Frankenstein-ing toys together to fit my testo-clit, toy combos that allow me to gender-blend genitalia, as well as my ageing and physical ability needs. Lauchie discusses the ingenuity of supportive appendages, meeting his changing body with adaptations to the toys he enjoys by shifting adjustable add-on capabilities, and he points to mood-setting as a toy for reaching desired states!
The key aspect we discuss is the importance of sex toys in enhancing sensations and tailoring experiences to exactly what you crave: the combining of different elements for customised adventures! Additionally, the joy of DIY options and the art of “Tetris-ing” toys, cleverly combining and arranging toy configurations that provide optimal accessibility and let you get at the pleasure you’re seeking. This playful approach not only fosters a sense of empowerment but also encourages exploration and self-discovery. Lauchie brings in opportunities to consider the differences in how we receive sensorial information depending on touch or tool and asks the question: “What are the toys and adaptations we need to support us in trauma responses?”. What have you found? I’d love to hear about them: pop over to my DMs and let me know!
We start to wrap up the video by chatting about the toys and adaptations we dream of for ourselves, and genderqueer communities: how can we harness the use of pleasure tools to support medicalization? Cross-pollinating our understandings of toys as de/gendered, de/medicalized, de/stigmatised. We invite you to dream differently, adapting the environment and tools around you into toys!
Curious About Erotic Coaching?
Open space until Sept 6th
(then I'm out of town until October)
Maybe you haven't a clue what you want.
Maybe you know what you want but you're not sure how to get there.
Maybe you know how to ask for what you want, but you want to be more specific or direct.
Erotic coaching can include:
- Expanding access to solo exploration and getting creative in your play
- Gaining confidence in your body, dirty talk, or role play
- Building up your negotiation skills and embodied consent
- Pleasure mapping and discovering what feels yummy for you
- Learning to guide others to give you the touch you desire
- BDSM practices: D/s and switching as well as physical play like flogging and spanking.
You're welcome to bring along play friend(s) to learn and explore together too!
We use body-based practices to support what is so often trauma stewardship: guiding you on a path of unraveling the layers of conditioning, limitations, and protectiveness that may hinder your access to pleasure. This journey of trans*magick invites you to challenge your taboos, embrace queer authenticity, and reclaim your erotic self. Many of us need to slow WAY down to notice what it feels like in our body when we want something: together we'll come up with practices that feel interesting to YOU and from there, we can begin using our voice to ask for those things.
Excited? Nervous? Curious? Email me your questions, ask me anonymously and I'll answer on IG, or book a free exploratory call with me and let's chat! Schedule Here
Ro Rose
Sign up for exclusive offers (like free access), first chance at classes (which often sell out), and details about my offerings.
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